Oh man, feel like my life slipping into some enormous hole.
A very good friend of mine drag me after seeing my miserable self and told me, I must go to a specialist to seek help. I was afraid of the mindset I recently had, I wanted to seriously go to this specialist.
The meeting was wonderful and very personal, yet when I was there I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel much because of the apathy at that moment. So here I was with this psychologist and he told me, I was seeing life “black & white” as I’m currently seeing things more a gray scale. And he explain the cause is, traumatic experience that we may go through. In this case the surgery nearly die from and the feeling like should had died in it.