I’m finally back to work, slowly I’m accommodating to what was once natural. As reach for the letters in the mail, it more bills, some urging that I should pay before the amount doubles, others than we yet to receive money. In week pass, I would tither and fall into pit of anxiety. Now it different, I place the bills next to a now large collecting pile, well I ever get out this hole? The taught was serious a week ago, now it mist.
Like everything inside me, it just state of numbness. My mind crossing a cloud land escape and reaching an abysmally distant horizon, were all my emotions are dump, were I’m not anything anymore.
And if you think that poetic for something. It not really, I’m emotionally done unable to trust those around me who filled there mouth with friendships and hopefully words that never became anything but that, mentally I’m drain exhausted no longer able to see away out, spiritually as abandon with nothing left to lose or gain, physically fine with even smile and tending to costumers.
I keep my eyes focus, but I’m not here anymore. My ambition is gone and what little emotions I have are fear, fear that what gripping me soon will turn much darker and I have a fatal attraction is holding me fast, I don’t now how to escape this irresistible grasp…I don’t want to fade like song.